Silence in the courtroom! – the judge struck the gavel on the round walnut stand and looked around at the attendees.
The hearing promised to be anything but simple. The defendant, or rather, the defendant woman, was charged with causing substantial damage to several victims. Numerous witnesses, testimonies, and irrefutable evidence pointed to years of crimes. Horrific crimes. Criminal negligence. Premeditated wrongful actions. The moral character of the defendant also failed to inspire the jurors’ good will. It seemed that indulgence in immoral acts was something habitual for this person, something she took for granted.
The judge was experienced and wise. He never rushed to conclusions, always trying to give defendants as many chances as possible. And now, he hoped that there would be at least something that could, if not justify, at least explain these numerous grave deeds mentioned in the case.
“Everyone rise, the court is in session!”
The judge signaled to sit and, with focus, declared:
“The hearing in the case of the defendant Woman is hereby open.”
Whispers filled the courtroom. The defendant was brought in. The whispering grew louder; someone exclaimed, “Oh wow!” The jurors exchanged glances. In their eyes, there was confusion, astonishment, disdain, and even clear fear. The judge paid little attention to it—his job was to learn all the details first.
“Read the charges!”
A small, frail clerk took a piece of paper and began reading aloud:
“The defendant Woman is accused of regularly, over several years, causing damage to her own body, specifically:
Inflicting severe harm to the stomach, intestines, heart, liver, gallbladder, circulatory system, skin, reproductive organs, and adipose tissue;
Inflicting serious damage to the spine, kidneys, and hormonal system;
Inflicting irreparable damage to the nervous system;
Inflicting damage to the entire skeletal system, as well as to other organs of the body.”
Given the severity of the crimes, the proposed punishment is life imprisonment.
The courtroom erupted in indignation. A cry, likely from the nervous system, echoed—already on edge. The defendant seemed to not deny her guilt, appearing deeply upset and overwhelmed. Struggling to breathe, she turned her head slowly from the audience, seeking friendly support, then looked at the jury, hoping to catch a hint of approval in the judge’s eyes. But no support came.
However, the presumption of innocence had not been canceled. After the charges were read, the judge quieted the room and allowed the Prosecutor and Defense Attorney to speak. After the Prosecutor’s impassioned speech and the Defense Attorney’s hesitant, unsure words, when the room grew agitated, the defendant seemed ready to cry, the judge allowed witnesses to be called.
The Prosecutor, glaring at the defendant, shouted:
“I call the Stomach! I know you will speak nothing but the truth. Tell the court what the defendant has done to you.”
“Oh!” the stomach could only manage. It was terrifying to look at. It was bright red, covered in little ulcers, stretched thin, barely hanging between the esophagus and the duodenum, groaning. “I’ve worked my whole life! No days off, no vacations, no pension. They put anything in me! If I listed it all, you’d be horrified by what goes through her mind! I have to digest the undigestible. Just those polyunsaturated fats… or sugar. Sugar everywhere. I feared turning white, like an iceberg, from all the sugar. Sometimes, for half a day, nothing would even fall into me! I had to work in vain.” The stomach tried to hide its ulcers, then broke down in tears. “Chunks! Huge chunks fell into me. It was like I was a shredder. Seriously, does she have no teeth? I try every way to break it down, process it. But with me being so sick…” It then wept, and was excused from further questioning.
Next, the Prosecutor called the Intestines. After struggling to suppress loud gurgling, it finally managed to speak:
“I… well, I’m embarrassed, POOF, sorry, I didn’t mean… POOF. Gases are tormenting me. I won’t say much. POOF. I’ll just say this… they don’t care! POOF! And I’m alone! I may be long, but I didn’t expect this kind of suffering. I’m used to cleanliness. I carry nutrients to the blood, POOF, oh… sorry. How much filth I have to pass on to the blood! How heavy everything is, all that’s stuck on me over the years! POOF. I live like in a swamp… I just want to fly!”
The Prosecutor gave a stern look to the Defendant and almost smugly introduced the next witness—the Heart.
“I love her. But I’ve been suffering so much lately. I’m used to the steady thump-thump, thump-thump… music, you know, precision! But lately, I’ve been misfiring. It’s tough to pump blood. The left valve is completely off, letting blood through. I’ve gained weight, see? No exercise for years, and even moving sometimes is difficult. I’m nervous now, I’ve become a mess. I’m not thirty years old anymore, but more like fifty. Climbing stairs, I feel like I’m dying. I want to retire. I’ve had enough, I can’t go on. But I remember the old days… how we used to fly! Up to the sixth floor, running up the stairs! We were racing! Those were the days…”
The Liver was called next and could not help the Defense. The Gallbladder sided with the previous witness. The Blood Circulatory system, tormented by plaques, and the Skin, burdened with cellulite, terrified the Jurors and attendees, and were excused from long testimony, but their appearance alone was enough. The Reproductive organs had a complete breakdown, accusing the defendant of constantly risking their ability to reproduce, thereby committing the murder of the most beautiful thing they could do—be a Mother. The Adipose tissue was not allowed into the courtroom but responded from the hallway, making some laugh and others angry. The Spine, showing three displaced discs and severe scoliosis, was helped back into place by two attendants. The well-educated Hormonal system provided complex chemical formulas almost proving irreversible changes in the defendant’s body. The Nervous system could not hold back and had a total breakdown. The court had to call a psychiatrist.
More and more testimonies, more and more facts. More and more evidence of guilt… The pitiable condition of the victims moved everyone.
The Judge sat, frowning. It was now the Defense Attorney’s turn. Greatly embarrassed, he called as his witness a Pimply Young Man.
“Yes, I admit, in eighth grade, I offered her my friendship, then I told all the boys in the class that she had fat legs. No, they weren’t fat then, but now they’re just right! I knew it! I’m not guilty, though! She cried for three weeks, and then for three more weeks, she drowned her tears in cakes and ice cream. She shouldn’t have said I kissed badly. It’s her fault!”
“So this is how my suffering from cakes began!” the Liver shouted from the courtroom. “I’ll show you!”
“Order!” the Judge called. But the Prosecutor seized the moment:
“But the Defendant herself made the decision about how many cakes and ice creams to eat! No one forced her!”
The Pimply Young Man was replaced by a thin, sprightly young woman. Looking lazily at the Defense Attorney, she said:
“Yes, I admit, I recommended the Tibetan Monks’ diet to my friend. The one where you only eat a cup of rice a day. So what if I ate normally, like everyone else. But I’ve always had a good figure. I weigh 40 kg, and she weighed 50 kg in tenth grade! At her height, 165 cm! It was her problem that on the tenth day, she stuffed herself and couldn’t stop. I always told her, ‘Don’t eat so much, you’ll turn into a fat cow weighing 50 kg!’”
The Defense Attorney wanted to say something, but the Prosecutor skillfully swayed this witness to their side. The Defendant’s character reference from work, stating that the Defendant was an incredibly responsible and professional person, provoked shouts of outrage from the victims and a sneer from the Prosecutor. “Responsible? You’ve got to be kidding! Look at all the victims! And they’re always with her, inside! Don’t even have to go far! How can anyone believe she was responsible when she destroyed her own, her own—no one else’s—vital organs?!”
The testimony of the Defendant’s family members only worsened the situation. No matter how much they insisted that the Woman was kind, attentive, caring, and loving, the Defense Attorney only had to once again point to the group of victims, and all the positive testimonials were nullified. Furthermore, these witnesses eventually became witnesses for the Prosecution when they admitted that they had repeatedly suffered pain and distress because of the Woman – due to her own nervous breakdowns, constant stress, and the exhausting demands she placed on her close ones with her obsessive requests for confirmation of love and reassurance that she was not a fat cow. When, indeed, she became a fat cow, she would receive meek advice from concerned family members on how to increase physical activity and adjust her eating habits in response to her cries for help “What should I do?” But she would start throwing tantrums saying “I really am a fat cow!” and “No one loves me!” – thus inflicting deep emotional trauma on those who truly loved her, regardless of how much she weighed or what size clothing she wore.
Defense witnesses became witnesses for the Prosecution. The Defense Attorney nervously paced around his desk, trying to think of some way to save the Defendant. The Defendant fully admitted her guilt. The Prosecutor celebrated the victory. The jurors were fixing their hair, which kept standing on end. The judge was deep in thought. After all that could be said and heard on the case had been said, the jurors had a deliberation and delivered their verdict. He once again struck his polished gavel on the walnut board and retreated to his office to think it over and render his final sentence.
The judge was deeply respected by everyone. Everyone trusted him. He was the only one who could resolve even the most contentious of cases. His name was Common Sense. But few knew that, in his cozy office, where he made his final decisions, he always consulted with two assistants. One was named Love, and the other – Wisdom. And so, now, he called upon his companions. They deliberated for a long time, but finally, the door to the office swung open, and the Judge appeared in the courtroom.
– Everyone rise! Court is in session!
Extending his right hand to signal for those present to sit, the Judge said:
– Today, we’ve heard a complicated case. I am old. I have seen a lot in my time. And believe me, for the crimes that have been stated, I could easily sentence any Defendant to the highest measure of punishment. However, having taken into account all the nuances and details of the case I’ve just heard, I render my final verdict. Guilty. On all counts. I sentence the Defendant to a lifetime of physical activity and a strict diet. The Defendant must repay the society the essential organs and systems of her body. Considering the Defendant’s particular personal qualities, many of which are, as I understand, very positive, as well as future merits, which the Defendant will undoubtedly demonstrate during her sentence, I allow the Defendant to choose the form and regimen of physical activity, with no reduction of less than 4 hours per week of physical activity. The verdict is final and non-appealable.
When the court was empty, the Judge returned to his office, removed his wig and robe, laid his head on his folded hands on the desk, and began to think about how many such cases he had heard, how many such Defendants had passed through his hands… He looked up at the wall, where portraits of convicted female prisoners hung. All the prisoners smiled, showing their pleasant, happy faces. “In a year, maybe two,” the Judge thought, “this one will return here with a huge bouquet of her favorite flowers, glowing, happy. Light, she will glide into the office in her most beautiful dress – white, form-fitting, shining.
Gentle and feminine, fit and sporty – she will run up, hug me, and tell me how happy she is that I once passed that sentence. And that the sentence stopped being a punishment and turned into help, support, a breath of strength. She will tell me something about her new life, about her new self… And I’ll realize that she no longer needs amnesty. That the old Defendant is no more. And that this new Woman will never return to the false path. And why? Because the Judge always had two loyal advisors – Wisdom and Love.