Who knows – maybe all of this is given to us to prepare us for something even more beautiful, right here, in this very life. Or perhaps they, up there, are sitting, watching us, and laughing at how we dream of the moment when everything will finally come together, when everything will come true, when there will be no barriers, no cruel ironies of fate. They know that “life is what happens to us while we are busy making other plans” (c) John Lennon.
But in reality, we’ve already got it all. And we can’t do any more than that. Of course, “Life doesn’t end tomorrow,” but… but… Even when we are children, the best period of life is already behind us, because the older a person gets, the more worries they have. “Only fools are absolutely happy.” Those who stayed in their childhood.
I sometimes think of my acquaintance, for whom life became unbearable, and he left on his own, not waiting for the moment when he would realize that everything had already happened. Or maybe he realized that just before making the terrible decision? We’ll never know. There is so much we can never know. Never. “Never” is the wrong word.
If we live and think that the real life hasn’t started yet, life may seem easy, but how bitter the disappointment when those thoughts – the ones we lived by – turn out to be a lie, when we remember them on our deathbed.
If we live and realize that what we want and dream about is just that – something we want and dream about. And life – life is now. Sometimes it’s hard to understand and accept this because then it feels as though life is empty and dark, that it doesn’t have what we love. Or, at least, it doesn’t have much of what we want. But if we accept this, that yes, this is life (“as it is, and nothing else!”), it becomes not just much easier. You become free. And it’s a great art to understand the moment of life.
I don’t know how to do this. Will I ever be able to?