January 22. 2021 – The Life of a Condemned Woman
At first, I was sitting with Alex in some street café. There was no actual café, just tables. We arrived in my white SUV. Suddenly, it turned out it was gone. We couldn’t find it anywhere. For some reason, we were immediately in the same place, but we had arrived in Alex’s old white van, an old beat-up vehicle. We didn’t turn around before it disappeared again. We started searching, walking through some apartments, when suddenly someone shouted – “Look, they’re repainting it green!”
We ran towards it, but somehow we ended up on a train. The whole car was our compartment. There was a huge bed, and Alex and I were sitting on it, leaning against the backrest. We realized we were running from someone. Someone was in danger, and I understood that it was Alex.
A small woman in a white coat entered the compartment, walked up to us, and handed us some sticks, asking us to put them in our mouths. I decided it was a COVID test, obediently put the stick in my mouth, and tasted bitterness. I suspected something was wrong, took it out, and rinsed my mouth. At that moment, the woman in the white coat pricked Alex’s finger – like for a blood test – and I didn’t like it. Anxiety quickly started to grow. I heard footsteps in the corridor.
The footsteps and noise were getting closer. I realized we had to run – but where? I tried to get off (jump off) the bed, but got tangled in the blanket. I tried again – to tear the blanket off myself – but again, it was a failure. The footsteps kept getting closer. I could hear male voices. I made another attempt to untangle myself from the never-ending blanket, but again, I failed.
At that moment, people burst into the compartment. Many men in black suits, led by John Goodman, who had a big gun in his hands. Everything after that was in English. We were no longer on the train. John shouted my name and said – “Well, you’re first!”
I had never experienced in my life the terror of impending death, especially with the added sensation that the death wasn’t inevitable and there was a chance of survival. It was an utterly unbelievable experience, where I was ready to do anything just to keep my life. The realization that you won’t be here anymore, that you will never experience anything, touch anything, see anything, or think anything… This was the most powerful feeling I’ve ever experienced – and I experienced it in this dream.
In horror, I grabbed Goodman’s hand holding the gun, so that he couldn’t turn it towards me, and looking straight into his eyes, I began to beg him not to kill me. “Please, please, please,” I repeated over and over. He, this born killer, the head of this mafia group sent to kill Alex and me, for some reason lowered his hand and said, “Fine, I’ll deal with you later!”
It was Alex’s turn and someone else who had suddenly appeared next to her on the bed, in my place. I didn’t even think about trying to save Alex. I knew Alex was the reason for this chase. But I didn’t want her to die. At the same time, the horror that filled me in the face of death made me stay silent and not try to protect her. I saw how she covered her face with her hands, understanding her complete helplessness before the monstrous fate.
When they killed them, Goodman turned to me again. During this time, I had composed myself a bit and, with a confident walk (like someone who has nothing left to lose), I approached Goodman and said – I have a proposal for you. He listened. “Why don’t you use my intellect?”
We moved to the window. He listened. I pointed to the people in black who were accompanying Goodman in this event… Now the scene was no longer in the train but in a hall, which reminded me more of a gathering with the same mafia pawns in black suits and their “ladies” in long dresses. Everyone seemed to have forgotten that I was supposed to be killed. Goodman listened to my business proposal that all these puppets of his, who filled the room, of course, served well, but their combined intellects were less than mine. And that I was ready to work for him and do whatever he says (except killing), just for him to spare my life.
I was ready to work for the mafia. I knew that from now on, I would live under the barrel of a gun. At any moment, my life could be taken from me. I didn’t care what I would do – I just wanted to live.
To be continued in the next dreams. Probably. 🙂
February 2021
The other day, I dreamed that I was the soul of a woman, expelled from her body and forced to inhabit random bodies. And when this next inhabitation occurred, I had to return to the woman’s body and try to inhabit it again – or something like that. In dreams, cause-and-effect connections are very vague. But this time, I inhabited the body of a large, muscular man, although I felt like a young woman. And this man was either a prisoner or something else, but there was a chase after him – and after me, I suppose. So, I was trying to escape – first, I jumped into a tourist trolley with no windows, from it into a truck, the engine of which had a key, and on the passenger seat, there was some guy eating something. I started the car, even though it was parked between others, I backed up, crashing into the cars behind me, turned forward, and tried to drive away from the chase. But I woke up.
And today, I dreamed that I had a lover, in love with me, and he looked like Christopher Lambert. It was very romantic…
March, 12, 2021
I spilled my cocktail on Ksenia’s skirt. And immediately suggested we wash it off in the drinking fountain. Vodka doesn’t leave stains, and the sugar would wash out.
After that, we returned to the table. But there was no feeling of celebration. We were captured by a group of armed people, and each of them had some kind of deformity, or rather, each had some sort of grotesque feature.
After running through the floors and trying to escape from the besieged building, I ended up in a pool, where the women from our party were barely staying afloat. All of them had a glassy, lifeless stare…
The deformed men with grotesque features were trying to mate with the women to conceive. Otherwise, they had no way to continue their deformed bloodline… That was the main goal of this capture.
They tried to push me into the pool, but I said that I was in love with their leader and would only mate with him, and that they should take me to him immediately.
Of course, that was a lie. I had no idea who their leader was, but I wanted to buy time in the hope that I could figure something out. And it paid off. On the way to the “leader,” I saw the “hero” — a man, one of the guests at the party (very handsome, muscular, stately, in contrast to the deformed men). He had a Uzi submachine gun, and he was hiding from the captors. I started hiding with him. It was getting light.
And then it became clear that the deformed men were only alive at night. By morning, they simply dissolved into the space.
April, 16, 2021
From the first dream, I remember only that to save one person, four others agreed to die. Temporarily. And the main character’s name — I was still thinking in the dream whether to call her Taisha. Then I decided to name her Tyler. Because in the dream, I was sure that I would wake up and write a book based on the dream’s scenario. There was something else, but I’ve already forgotten it. Maybe something could be created from this story.
But then I had the second dream.
And now, as I try to write it down, nothing particularly special is coming out.
Well, someone was chasing someone (us). We ran out of some icy cave and hid. The chase passed, not finding us, and when everything became quiet, we found ourselves in an absolutely incredible place — as if from the fairy tale “The Snow Queen.” It was night, but bright, as though from the light of the moon, but the light was coming from somewhere from the side and below. It was winter, but not cold. Snowdrifts sparkled around, and beyond them, ice mountains rose, translucent, like chunks of unprocessed mountain crystal — some were cloudy, some incredibly clear, shimmering in different colors in that mysterious light.
We looked around and saw that from somewhere in the icy mountain or from the cave’s exit, three figures separated from a previously invisible space — two men and one woman. They were dressed in all white. They were a bit taller than ordinary humans and seemed larger. As if they were from another race — proportionally they were slim, but each one exceeded two meters in height, and it seemed that, in general, they were colossal, at least compared to us. They moved slowly and smoothly, somewhat resembling Galadriel and two elves from Lothlórien. There was a soft white mist around them. They stepped into the light, and we understood that we were saved. But these people — or not people, it was unclear — had come to our rescue. What kind of rescue, we didn’t know, but later we learned the secret of this mysterious cave when…
We were being chased again. And again, we ran through the same cave — a narrow dark tunnel, to find ourselves back in the magical, fairy-tale northern world. We ran out of the tunnel and knew that the only way to save ourselves was to hide under a layer of snow in a snowdrift right there, by the icy cliff. We sat in the snow and began to cover ourselves with it, and it turned out to be a thin linen blanket, which from the outside looked like snow. The chase passed. We emerged from under the blanket-snow and rushed to where we thought we wouldn’t be caught.
We ran up the cliffs, from where, as we had already seen, we needed to jump into the rescue truck that was waiting for us at the foot, but when we reached the top, we realized that the ground was so far below that if we jumped, we would crash. I don’t even know how we had run so high and so fast, but the truck was a tiny rectangle somewhere down below. But the chase was close. We had to jump. And we jumped. We were falling, thinking that we would crash. But somewhere in the middle of the fall, we realized that we were no longer falling.
We were flying. The snow under which we had hidden from the chase — it was magical. After being under it, we turned into the same elves who had met us by the icy mountain. Now we could fly — and we flew.