I’ve just started reading it, but already I’m trying to apply some of the ideas and experiences that Vitale shares at the beginning of his book. By the way, he talks about a doctor who treated mentally ill criminals without even talking to them, but only by reading their medical histories. This is the same doctor that Lyuba Rykkel mentioned in one of her audio trainings: when the doctor read the medical history and apologized to the patients for showing up in his life (reality, or originally, consciousness) in the way that they did. In other words, the doctor took responsibility for the shared space between him and the patients, the part of life they both shared when he learned about their histories.
In my view, this is an exceptional form of responsibility for one’s life: when you are not only ready to answer for your actions in front of others but also for yourself — for your thoughts, actions, and everything that happens not only by your hand but also by everyone who appears in your reality in any way. This includes everything: total, completely sincere forgiveness, sending love, acceptance, prayer, healing, and Love itself, as it is, and magic — EVERYTHING. I can’t even imagine anything that could be at the core of such an approach to life.
This approach was surprising to me because it created an amazing freedom and almost a physical sensation that everything that exists in my world — consciousness, awareness — is my creation, my projection. It is not difficult for me to forgive, to ask for forgiveness, and to love those who have hurt me because I realize that I, myself, made it hurt through them. And I need to ask for forgiveness from them because they had to make me suffer. They had to appear before me as they did.
For I am the source of everything in my life… And all of you are projections in my consciousness, just as I am a projection in yours.
For the third day now, I’ve been absolutely thrilled — literally thrilled — by the memories of the experiences that I perceived in my memory as “tests” — pain, betrayal, cruelty, malice, meanness, everything. I’m thrilled by the fact that again and again I can realize that no one else but myself created this in my life, set up the projector in such a way that others had to hurt me, betray me, be cruel, malicious, mean… This may seem strange, but this realization is incredibly liberating! I will forever ask them for forgiveness and “cleanse” our shared space from what I’ve created in my life.
After this, the world seems simple and amazing. Everything in it becomes possible again. Only three days, and only a few of those “Forgive me, I love you!” — but very sincere ones — and for the first time in six years in the States, I feel that I’m home. Everything here is dear to me, warm, familiar, and recognizable. I am in my world — and I’m comfortable and at peace in it!
The most amazing thing about this whole process is that for the first time in my life, I completely perceive my body in a new way. I have to make up for 38 years of humiliation! As soon as I notice that my consciousness starts judging my body and hurting it (for those who don’t know what it’s like to spend your whole life feeling “not like everyone else,” I can say that I used to insult myself dozens of times a day with words that are considered inappropriate in polite society, blaming myself for not being the standard of beauty) — I immediately (I notice almost 100% of the cases) realize this, and what’s most amazing, I feel pain and hurt for my body — and immediately apologize for being the cause of its suffering for 38 years! For 38 years, I will love you, cherish you, and nurture you, my dear body!
In addition to this amazing experience, there’s also a flow of memories about the most terrible and difficult life situations — and all of them completely lose their grip on me. They fold and shrink and become a part of my consciousness — which they always were, really, even when I thought they were so much bigger than me… And I keep asking, “Forgive me!” and saying, “I love you!”
The flip side of this process is an almost automatic gratitude that is present in me by default. For everything beautiful. After all, this too is me! After all, I created this! And I’m grateful for it! And if other people were involved and did something good for me, in addition to being naturally grateful to them for what they did, I am also grateful from the standpoint that, if we dig down to the source, it’s still me who created this with their help, and through them, my creation simply manifested. And I am grateful that they helped this creation of mine manifest, that I was able to experience it! I am grateful.
Because all of them, just like you, just like everything I know in my life — it’s all me!