They choose the right words in conversation, adjust their voice to the right tone, and then guide the conversation along the right path, gracefully inserting the right verbal anchors at the right moments. These people are very pleased with themselves. They are indeed very smart, but they forget that relationships are not a mathematical formula; they cannot be added, multiplied, or divided. Relationships are like faith.
You don’t examine faith under a microscope—you simply dive into it headfirst and trust the process completely. That’s why it’s so difficult for non-believing mathematicians to build relationships—they find it incredibly hard to throw themselves into the process. They need the process to be calculated and go according to plan. What especially gets in their way is the need to have their correctness acknowledged through a conveniently solved equation. If in their coordinate system 2×2=4, they will insist on it, unaware of the existence of other coordinate systems where 2×2 might equal 5, as a possibility.
Once they believe in two-dimensionality, they struggle to imagine three-dimensionality. After all, three-dimensionality implies mastering a new plane, which—like terra incognita—is already very difficult to calculate. Plato is their friend, but their own beliefs are more important. For example, the belief that all women are sluts. It’s easy to believe this when a beloved woman leaves. But it’s hard to then travel from this coordinate point to the one you wish to reach. The coordinate point “all women are sluts” lies beyond the plane of “harmonious relationships,” and there’s no way to get from the first to the second. There’s a banner blocking the view. It blocks the view so much that the person is able to knock everything on their path down with this banner, including a new love that’s just beginning to bloom.
These people are very smart. Too smart to understand that the true art lies in diving into the process of relationships with your whole being, without losing your head, but simply believing. Without trust, you can’t make a single step on this journey.