We spend our whole lives trying to arrive at certain understandings and realizations, through our minds. Before we truly feel these things with our entire being, we need to go through something… to hit our heads with something heavy… Suddenly, today I realized that we all play this Matrix game way too seriously. We’ve gotten so absorbed in life, that we’ve started to live it as a game… I take myself too seriously, I’ve become attached to this mask. Why?
I first realized that I take life too seriously back in school. And every time I remind myself of this, my understanding lasts only for a few minutes. Why don’t I learn to be simpler and stop confusing myself and others with attempts at some local, questionable transformations? No, I’m still proud that I can criticize myself without slipping into a trance…
Sometimes I feel like I need to have everything under control, to make sure all the important people in my life have a good opinion of me, and that there are no bad opinions. Everything should follow the rules, as I understand them. Of course, I have my own unique understanding of the rules, there’s nothing standard for me, but I do have ones I’ve created for myself. At least they’re mine… familiar, so to speak.
And so we come to an interesting point. Should I live in a way that feels “right” to me? Should I follow what I think is “right”? And which “right” should I follow? The one my father tries to impose on me? Or the one my mother tried to impose on me? After all, they are my parents.
Or should it be the “right” I feel inside myself? But what if every time, these “rights” are different? What if some of these “rights” can no longer be changed, and they inevitably end up on the side of “wrong” in my life? Or vice versa?
Maybe the “right” thing is to understand that this is simply LIFE. That it is neither right nor wrong, it just “is as it is, and no more.” In it, there can be both love and hate. There can be both happiness and pain. There can be victories and disappointments… There can be laughter and tears… And LOVE!