Posts in adminNatasha
You wander through the world, touching other people. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it’s hot. Occasionally it’s cold. At times, it’s warm and gentle. Sometimes it even feels like it’s forever. But time passes, and you’re on the road again.
You must keep yourself in check, keep yourself in check… you must fight. Not give up. I know this.
You must hold on, you cannot relax, you cannot accept pain as a given, you must remove it, erase it, you must find new reserves of strength within yourself, you must find a new source of optimism, positivity.
Whenever you do something good, of course, your heart rejoices that someone is feeling better, that someone received help. Then, of course, it rejoices because the help came from you.
Every time in moments of despair, when pain and death fade from my thoughts and feelings, during the brief moments of quiet, I find the strength only to shout to the Universe, "Help me!" and ask it the short question, "Please, show me why I have been given THIS trial, what should I endure from it, what should I understand?"
A new wind blows. Constantly. It softly whispers, sometimes crying out in despair.
I want to step onto the dangerous path of the unknown, but one of freedom. I will have to lose much. I want to go forward. But I don’t want to lose. Yet, one can never acquire something without losing something.
She was sitting on the couch, her back against the armrest, her legs stretched along the seat. He was lying on his stomach facing her, gazing directly into her eyes and stroking her legs. She was dressed in something light. He was wearing something black.
He was stroking her legs, and I desperately wanted to be in her place.
And suddenly, I was.
The old town (the area of Chkalova Street and the surrounding neighborhoods) is small, low. Two-story houses built by German prisoners of war. Yellow, orange, beige, green... In the sunlight, they sound almost Spanish. Bright reflections and shadows of leaves paint whimsical patterns on the walls, and what seems like decay doesn’t look as sad. The trees are taller than the houses. White linden snow on the paths.
This is our mind that makes it good or bad. What are you lacking? Money? Love? Success? Maybe you have something else - lack of worry of losing money, staying away from bad relationship, being constantly hunted by paparazzi?
Perhaps those who don’t experience unhappy love “by calculation” are somehow wrong—like everyone who “calculates” love. To be honest, over the years, I have become one of them. I also don’t fall in love with someone if I have time to assess whether they will fall in love with me or not. But sometimes, I don’t have that time.
I stuck my nose out of the window. I sniffed. It smelled like summer.
I thought, how do the old women live, the ones who walk under my windows, tapping their canes with each step?