10.01.2010
I woke up at 8 and realized I hadn’t slept enough. Fell asleep again. Woke up—12 o’clock. Damn, I thought, I’m really sleeping. And it was already too late to call—should’ve done it around 9. Then I heard plates and glasses being taken out of my apartment—it turned out that there was a holiday outside, and my landlord called to ask if they could use my apartment as a storage space during the holiday. For some reason, I drowsily said “yes.” Not only did they turn my place into a storage space, but they also took out a bunch of furniture and set up speakers, a DJ booth, and basically created a mini music studio. I started attacking the DJ, pushing him out of the apartment, yelling, “I don’t want you in my bedroom!” Then I caught the landlord—turns out it was a young girl—and I started shaking her, screaming at her if she understood what was going on and how I was going to sue her. And then I woke up for real. It was 10 o’clock. It was already too late to call anyway. I was just shocked by my own shouting in the dream.
12.01.2010
I felt weird. I dreamt of my dad. It was somewhat unclear. I was in his room, and there were three flowers. They had just been lush and blooming, but when I looked at them again, they were yellow and wilting. I started watering them and stroking the pots to revive them. My dad was sitting nearby, watching me water them. I told him that the humidity in this room was low, so the soil dried out so quickly.
I dreamt of Aunt Nina. For some reason, she was Asian. We were walking through the streets, hugging. For some reason, I didn’t want to wake up from this dream. I kept snoozing the alarm until I realized I would be late for work.
28.01.2010
“Today I dreamed of XXX,
From Wednesday to Thursday, how inconvenient.
If it had happened tomorrow,
I would have thought I was lucky…”
A. Barsukova
I was sitting on the edge of a bed in a room with beds. There were sick people lying on the beds, and on the bed I was sitting on, there was an elderly woman. She was ill, and I suggested calling a doctor for her… The woman was unwell but seemed philosophical about it. I felt so sorry for her and the others that I started crying. I was sitting, holding her hand, crying. Suddenly, H entered the room with A, and he approached me—I realized it was the first time we were meeting in real life. I felt so sad, painful, and teary. It felt awkward. He sat next to me, and then I felt a powerful attraction between us. We couldn’t help but kiss. A was a bit different from himself, but I knew it was him. We kissed, and it was magical, beautiful, and incredible—we just couldn’t stop. But we had to stop because we were late for a plane. We packed Danya into the carrier and left. There were many more details, but they were secondary.
A pleasant dream, and timely.
11.03.2010
I had an amazing dream. Apparently, my subconscious had completely had enough of my suffering, and out of sympathy, decided to fulfill my wish, at least in a dream. I dreamed that we lived—“we” meaning me, my mom (not my real mom, but a mom-like figure), and her fiancé (not my dad, but her very rich and cool fiancé). We lived in some strange house on the water.
My mom had a wish ring. The ring was black plastic shaped like a flower, with large petals, each one having a big shiny stone. When you made a wish, it would come true, and a petal would fall off. It was like a “flower of seven colors” but in a fancy version.
The ring belonged to my mom, but she let me make two wishes. The first wish was for my sister Jenny (who doesn’t exist in real life but was in the dream). I thought about the second wish for a long time—love, money, youth? But then I realized there was only one thing I truly wanted…
So, I wished for a beautiful body. Size 4-6. And… I added… “and beautiful breasts.”
I didn’t feel the wish being fulfilled, but I saw it in the mirror in the wardrobe. And I noticed how the jeans I was wearing at the time started to slide down my hips. I rushed upstairs to find clothes that would stay on me so I could go buy new ones. I saw myself in the mirror again and was amazed—smooth, beautiful, graceful, slender body… and big (just like before) breasts. I twirled in front of the mirror, admiring the beautiful lines of my silhouette… It was wonderful!
None of my clothes fit me. I tried to find a bag of old clothes I had kept from a thinner time, but I couldn’t find it. Finally, I found some “skinny” pants and a long-sleeve shirt—and I was about to go to the store for new clothes. And right away, I noticed that “something had begun.” “Something had begun” referred to the attention of men. They were staring at me. I couldn’t help but stare at myself in every reflection. Not very tall, slender, with beautiful shoulders and hips, and big appetizing breasts—I wanted to look at myself… Uuuuuuuuuuh!
27.03.2010
Once again, I dreamed that I went to Moscow. And again, it felt so real, like I was really there. I was walking around Moscow, inhaling the smells (though I couldn’t smell anything because I had a stuffy nose in the dream), and I was so happy, thinking, “Finally, I’ve made it to Moscow, for real!” (Haha!)
And things were happening like in a dream, but I didn’t question it, thinking it was real. For example, I went for a walk in sandals, and it was muddy and rainy. I stepped in the mud, started cleaning my sandals, and then they turned into autumn boots. “Oh,” I thought, “this is nice.” I didn’t realize that such things could only happen in dreams. There were many other things, but I was just happy that I was really in Moscow.
A couple of days ago, I dreamed that I lived in a large multi-story apartment complex, and suddenly, it was taken over by Nazis, whose goal was to shoot all non-German cars in the garage. I saw with my own eyes how they ruthlessly shot and killed Toyotas and Lexuses. I didn’t care because I had a BMW convertible in my garage. Of course, they didn’t touch it. After the shooting, the Nazis left the building.
06.05.2010
I dreamed that my eyes had turned bright blue, even with a slight purple tint, very deep in color. I looked at myself in the mirror, marveled at the change, and thought that now A. would definitely fall in love with me. I dreamed a lot of things, but my eyes were the most striking part.
May 11, 2010
I had an amazing dream. Apparently, my subconscious had had enough of my suffering and, feeling sorry for me, decided to grant my wish, even if only in the dream. I dreamed that we were living – we being me, my mom (not my real mom, but someone who was supposed to be my mom), and her fiancé (not my dad, but her fiancé, a very rich and cool guy). We were living in some quirky house on water.
My mom had a wish ring. The ring looked like this: a black plastic ring shaped like a flower with big, big petals, and on each petal was a big, shiny gem. You made a wish, it was granted, and the petal fell off. The working principle was like that of the magic flower, but in a fancy version.
The ring belonged to my mom, but she allowed me to make two wishes. The first one was, for some reason, for my sister Jenny’s wish to come true (I don’t actually have a sister, but she was there in the dream). I thought for a long time about my second wish – love, money, youth? But then suddenly, I realized that there was nothing I wanted more than…
And so, I wished for a beautiful body. Size 4-6. And… I added… beautiful breasts.
I didn’t feel the wish being fulfilled – the sensation stayed the same as it was. But I saw it in the mirror of the wardrobe I was standing in front of. I felt my jeans start to fall off my hips. I rushed upstairs to the room, looking for some clothes that would stay on me, that wouldn’t fall off. I wanted to go to the store and buy new ones. And, once again, seeing myself in the mirror, I was stunned. A smooth, beautiful, graceful, slim body… and big (just like they were before) breasts. I twirled in front of the mirror, admiring the beautiful lines of my silhouette… It was magnificent!
None of the clothes fit me. I tried to find a bag of old clothes that I kept from my thinner days, but I couldn’t find the bag. Finally, I found some “skinny” pants, a long-sleeved T-shirt, and I decided to go to the store for new clothes. And then – right away – I noticed that “it had begun.” “It had begun” referred to the attention from men. They were staring at me. I couldn’t stop staring at myself in all the reflections. Relatively short, slim, with beautiful shoulders and hips, and big, appetizing breasts – I just wanted to say “wow” to myself!
02.07.2010
Yesterday, in a recurring dream just before waking up, I dreamt of my mom. She passed away on July 4th, so I suppose it’s a reminder. And today, I dreamt of my dad. He said, “You should praise and support me, and you…” In the dream, I ran to him as fast as I could, through the grass, and then through a ditch barefoot, just to get to him. He was standing on the road, looking sad. Maybe he was upset because I said bad things about him… It’s hard not to remember them. But I’ll try. I also remember the good things. It’s just sad that there wasn’t much of him in my life—both him and the good things associated with him. But the pain—there’s a freight train of it. But it’s my pain, and I’ll deal with it. Dad, I still love you.
18.07.2010
The main plot of today’s dream, which not only stayed with me but was as real as life itself, was about how I became the owner and director of a very run-down “Diesel” store in the center of Moscow. And I immediately started changing everything, making improvements. I came up with a wonderful development plan, reorganization, business optimization, and redesign. I didn’t want to wake up, it was so interesting to transform this chaotic, disorganized store into something wonderful. I especially enjoyed greeting the employees, shaking their hands, and saying, “I’m Natasha, the new boss!” 😉
10.08.2010
I dreamed that I arrived in Moscow and immediately went to journalism school. The stairs to the checkpoint were completely covered in snow. I wanted to take a picture, but some former classmates started shaking me by the shoulder, so I couldn’t take the picture… I also dreamt of a chef who was cooking shrimp the size of lobsters. He let me try one, and it was delicious.
I also dreamt of a memory from a very old dream that I had forgotten about—a dream where we were flying on a passenger spaceship with a class and even a teacher.
24.08.2010
I dreamed of Danya. I was on a ship, planning to box, and I was really proud that I was going to box in my high heels. I got ready, stood in front of the mirror, and thought to myself: “Just a few more minutes…” My dad was the manager of the ship. Danya and I talked about everything—like old times—and everything seemed to go just the way it was supposed to.
Let me know if you’d like me to elaborate or help with any specific interpretations of these.
September 12, 2010
I stayed at her place for the night. She wasn’t there at night, and while she wasn’t there, for some reason, I poured water on her passport and put it to dry. In the morning, I saw she had already come back and was sitting in the bathroom, fully dressed, in a bath filled with water, looking all goth (though goth isn’t her style), and drawing something gothic on the wall. Her gaze was distant. I got worried and asked, “What’s wrong with you? Is it really because of the passport? It’s already dry.” She said, “No, not because of that,” and pointed toward the hallway. I went over, and everything suddenly turned into my apartment in Moscow.
Outside, in the hallway, there was a corpse, freshly killed, but instead of a head, it had only a skull, while the rest of the body had both flesh and clothes. I called the police and said they were already on their way. A police officer arrived, and we went back, but the guy was still lying there in the same position. Some people started gathering, apparently familiar faces. Suddenly, everyone saw the corpse move. Strangely, the body – and its head had now returned to normal – seemed to be made of tights stuffed with cotton, as if it were a toy, but full-sized. A man. And it was moving.
Then he started crawling up the wardrobe doors in the hallway with his feet upwards. I screamed, but not out of fear. But it felt like he was “possessed.” A corpse! It became even scarier when his internal organs started appearing on the wall along with some letters. I screamed for everyone to come over, and the officer thought it was necessary to write down what those letters were.
I rushed into a room that was dark and began searching for paper and a pen, but I couldn’t find anything. People were shouting “Natasha!” I said, “I’m coming, I’ll find it,” but I felt that they weren’t rushing me, they were calling me. I turned around – and in the air, a three-barreled shotgun was hovering, aiming at my head. People told me, “It looks very much like you; this is suicide!” And I shouted, “No, no!” trying to move the barrels away from my head, but they turned and kept aiming at me – and at that moment, I woke up… In shock.