24.09.02 I came home and discovered a charming fluffy kitten in the room. He was peeing on the couch, so I took him off and put him on the floor to finish on the linoleum. After he was done, I nudged his nose into the puddle and, by accident, looked under the couch. There, glaring at me, was my cat surrounded by newly born kittens. I immediately lamented the state of the carpet and pulled out all the furry ones. The kittens were different—gray, white, and one was golden. I picked it up to examine it, but suddenly it turned into a bottle of “Klin’s Golden.”
22.10.02 A rocket arrived from space. At first, everyone saw a light white trail in the blue sky, like that of an airplane, and then the rocket began to approach rapidly with strange spiraling movements. It whizzed overhead, and everyone scattered in fear, expecting it to crash at any moment. But something completely different happened. The rocket suddenly transformed into a woman, who immediately began to instill fear in everyone. She exuded some mystical terror, though she looked perfectly ordinary. But everyone immediately understood: she would be the “pointing finger.” She would judge us.
She immediately chased after some woman, accusing her of mortal sins. I don’t remember what happened to the woman, but everyone understood that we would all suffer. Because everyone had “a finger in the pie.” I was also very scared, but, strangely, the “pointing” woman from space was very kind to me. Yet, I could feel her incredible mystical power. I asked her name, and she replied, “Diavvólo.” “With two ‘v’s,” she particularly emphasized.
I wanted to ask her an important question about my future, but apparently, it wasn’t meant to be because the dream ended.
02.11.02 I dreamed again that my car got lost somewhere. How I spun on the slippery road yesterday… If it weren’t for *****, I would have died from fear…
I dreamed again of the sea and mountains… The sun and… my love.. I played the piano, creating amazing melodies, and he kissed me, despite being a prince and not supposed to act so familiarly. But he couldn’t NOT allow it…
A beautiful dream.
06.12.02 I dreamed of the sea… I was traveling, running, flying… To it… I only had to take two steps to change the angle—and I saw it… His… Blue… Endless. A bright bay, snow-white yachts sparkling, cypress trees, a blue sky reflecting in the waves. I gasped from excitement, and then…
I woke up from the incredible, not intoxicating, but maddening, piercing sensation of his lips on mine… First, he barely touched my partially open lips with his warm, gentle mouth, then he pressed into me with a dizzying kiss… I gasped again, but this time in real life… The sensation was unbearably magnificent, my whole being came together in this otherworldly kiss, because I knew HE was beside me… My left hand slipped between his waist and the sheets, feeling the soft, hot velvet of his back, my right hand gently touched his cheek, sliding down his skin, across his neck, to his collarbone… And the endless kiss carried me away into another dimension, into the mirror world, where I’d never been before… The room was dark, but I knew who was with me, although….
A sharp thought broke this flight… I gently pulled away. Catching my breath, I muttered something like “I’ll be right there” and got out of bed, feeling completely naked… I reached the bathroom, turned on the water, and splashed my face with cold water to come to my senses and remember, pulling on a black sweater because the house was freezing… I clearly remembered going to sleep. I remembered that I desperately wanted to see him, for him to come, for it to be a surprise. I didn’t know what we could do, what we would talk about, what activities we could fill the night with… I didn’t know for sure that it would be WITH HIM. I remembered how I fell asleep… And now I woke up in his arms… The big blue towel I’d taken for him was slightly carelessly warming on the radiator. He was with me. He came. I had gotten the towel for him. He was taking a shower. I REMEMBERED NOTHING! How could this be?… It felt like hypnosis… I got scared.
My attentive gaze was interrupted by his call. I heard him softly say, “Kitten, do you need anything?” “No-no, I’ll be right there!” – and I went back to splashing cold water on my face, trying to come to my senses and remember… There was no doubt about the most severe memory lapse of my life. He called again, and I again responded that I was coming…
When I entered the room, I got another shock… The bed was empty. The sheet was wrinkled at the edge, as if there had been a real adventure on it that night. Three pillows were strangely stacked… He was gone. Nowhere. No trace…
Suddenly the alarm clock rang. I opened my eyes. I was lying on my back, holding the warm blanket. The sheet was in place, and the room was filled with a mixture of sensations—lingering fear from the brief madness, and… the dizzying memory of his lips, that insane kiss I’d never felt before in my life… And, God, the incredible fire burning in my chest, filling the whole space of my Heart. “Well, really, I’m fine without slippers”… She fell in love with him in one night… And I—with one kiss that I dreamed about.
21.12.02 They came for the notebook after all. First, the one who had given me this strange task came. He found me in the forest when I, standing knee-deep in snow, was trying to hide the evidence. All that was left was to burn the white pants. He approached and, hurriedly doing it, set them on fire where the legs met. The cotton fabric caught fire quickly. He looked at me and said, “Everything must be destroyed!” His voice was filled with malice and fear. Dark, wearing a strange black coat and an even stranger hat, he evoked sadness and some brutal terror…
When I got home, they were waiting for me. They were from state security. I wasn’t scared; I can lie. I would have lied even on a lie detector. They clearly intended to take what they came for. My notebook and files. But they didn’t know whether I had them… I clutched that very notebook in my hands. It contained the task, the plan for its completion, and detailed descriptions of the project. Part of the information was in the computer, and I was too scared to open that file.
They demanded the notebook. I said, “I promise! I’ll search!” Strangely, they left me alone at that point. They didn’t take the notebook, they didn’t search the house. The fear left me. As soon as they left, I began to shake out all the papers that might have been connected to this dangerous affair, not even a national, but a cosmic-scale project.
I found papers, ripped them to shreds, and threw them into a pile of evidence. When I held the last sheet in my hands, it had the title of the secret project written in large letters. Something made me look out the window. There, on the hill, were my earlier visitors with surveillance equipment. It was clear they were READING the document I held. When they saw that I had noticed them, they calmly packed up their equipment and walked away. They didn’t care anymore. I was already on their hook. I realized that they were watching me. They had been watching. And that I couldn’t escape. Now I was truly frightened.
In despair, I sank into the chair in front of the computer, to check how much I had gotten wrong… And then I realized something strange had happened to my memory. Fragmentedly, I remembered the above events. I remembered some details of the task, but its essence… I remembered I was supposed to carry out the final operation, but what exactly it was… I opened the mail program and checked the sent email. I had sent it in such a way that I couldn’t be traced. It had no outgoing data. It contained a few phrases in English that at first glance didn’t make sense, but for those in the know, they signaled the successful completion of the work and revealed the essence of the result. I still couldn’t understand the purpose of such a secret and dangerous project.
I opened another letter, which held the key to the riddle.
And then I remembered! They had sent me 5 pictures that couldn’t be viewed. I needed to find their 5 matches on the Internet according to some parameters. Once the matches were found, all 10 pictures would become visible. As soon as I opened that letter, I understood everything. My task had been completed. On a black velvet field lay 10 incredible gemstones, the size and beauty of which were beyond belief. They shimmered in all the colors of the rainbow in the bright light, sparkling and begging to be held. I gazed at them, watching them spin, and from each, a beam of light radiated. I understood that these beams were supposed to converge in one point, and then… What would happen to the World then?.. I didn’t know. Because the stones landed in my hands.
The dream ended.
26.12.02 If thoughts could be heard,
The air would be filled with female voices,
Asking for Love, my dear…
Asking for Love…
A. Green “The Golden Chain”
We lived in a very strange house. It resembled a glass pavilion. Inside, it was warm, with two odd poor beds and a table. But none of that mattered to us. Who was second—my mother or some other woman? I’m not even sure if it was a woman. One thing I remember—our home was a refuge for those in need.
I sat on the bed, and suddenly a little boy appeared in my arms. He was about three or four years old. He was very lonely. In this world, he had no one. He looked at me with huge eyes, with a gaze that spoke of incredible pain, fear, a sense of abandonment.
I closed my eyes. For a moment, I wanted to hide myself and never open my eyes again. But I opened them, gently rocking the boy and whispering in his ear.
The boy was calmed. He stopped crying.
The dream ended.