Dream – February 1, 2007
Today I dreamt of my ex-husband, his head bleached as it is now, but still slim, like when we were together. We were hugging, and there was so much of that tenderness and closeness that I wanted to cry right in the dream because we both knew, even in the dream, that we hadn’t been together for a long time and wouldn’t be again, but I so wished we could be. Then I dreamed of moving all my furniture from my apartment in Moscow, and it was incredibly difficult. Then a woman appeared in my dream, and she prophesied that I, just like my dad, would die of cancer. I asked her, “Will I at least have time to have children?” She said, “Yes, a boy and a girl.” There were many other strange episodes in the dream. I woke up very surprised by my night adventures. By the way, my dad, no matter what, will definitely not die from cancer. If anything, it would be something heart-related. Although… his father died of cancer. Lung cancer. Because he smoked. My dad quit smoking a long time ago, though he had smoked for many years. I seriously thought about this. But it’s just a dream, after all…
Dream – February 11, 2007
I had a very scary dream today. I dreamt that I fell asleep, and I dreamed that I ran into thick, high snow for some reason. I had to be there, as if I was saving someone or saving myself. But as soon as I ran into the heart of the snow, it started to suck me in like quicksand, this cold, sinking snow. And soon, I was completely under it. It closed over my head. It became darker around me, and I kept sinking deeper into the snow, but there was no bottom, no ground beneath my feet, as though I was falling into an endless snowy abyss. My scream was drowned by the dense snow. I became terrified. I realized that my air would soon run out, and no one would hear me. An awful death under the snow immediately came to mind. I tried to “swim” to the surface, but the snow beneath me turned into something airy, and there was nothing to push off of. Then I screamed one last time, and the lower layers of snow, where my body was, began to thin out, vertical gaps appeared in it, as though someone had torn it open with huge claws from top to bottom. But down below, there was nothing… There was no water, no earth… Not even air. Only gravity. And I was falling down. Into the unknown, into infinity. That made me even more terrified. I remembered that I was dreaming and forced myself to wake up because I didn’t want to exist in that dreadful dream anymore. However, it was a dream within a dream, so I continued sleeping, but at least in a more bearable environment.