September 16, 2009
I foolishly signed some document, only reading that I was being given free use of a domain I already owned. But it turned out there was more text in the document about something no one had mentioned. Later, I was told that another person who signed the same thing went blind. And everything was legal. I watched as the same company that forced me to sign it hammered nails into a woman’s armpit.
Strangely, she didn’t seem to feel pain. But I didn’t want to go through anything like that, so I decided to run. My car was in the garage, but I couldn’t get to it at first, and then couldn’t find it. When I finally did, I discovered that a person from that company, a young man, was waiting to kill me. I started driving out of the garage, weaving through the rows, but he somehow tracked me.
The catch was this: I had to get home before him to survive. If I made it home first, he would die instead. The instinct for survival took over, and I sped up. As often happens in dreams, no matter how hard I pressed on the gas, the car only reluctantly sped up. Suddenly, the car turned into a large, beautiful motorcycle, and I swerved the other way, diving into the courtyards. Only my pursuer could see me. In the end, I made it home first, but he was crying because he was supposed to die since he hadn’t caught me. I felt a little sorry for him, of course.
The building was an office one, several stories tall. There were elevators. The building seemed unoccupied. On the roof, there was mini-golf, a lounge, trees were growing. On the first floor was a store and a system of bars and eateries… The place was crowded, and everyone was celebrating something, though the building seemed completely uninhabited… I was in one of the rooms when a tall, very handsome young man with light hair approached me and started touching my things. He opened my makeup bag, as if looking for something or just because he liked it… I started protesting, and then he leaned over and kissed me on the lips. First hesitantly, then more confidently… It turned out he loved me… The next moment, I went to a bar, but as I was entering, I heard him talking to his friends about me, saying how deep of a person I was, quoting my poems, admiring the depth of my feelings and thoughts. It was clear he was very serious about me… But the dream ended, and we never reunited…
September 27, 2009 Angels of Talents
The angels were administering exams on mastery, or rather, on talent. The angels didn’t quite look like angels, but arguing with their angelic status was pointless. They gave exams strictly but fairly. I was completely flustered, unsure which of my talents to demonstrate, because only one was allowed. I started to draw. Large-format paper and good pencils immediately appeared. I began to draw aimlessly, and an angel told me that time was running out, yet I was drawing nonsense. So I erased the nonsense and started drawing the face of the angel who was administering my exam. She was a short, plump woman in her fifties. I asked her not to fidget, but she kept turning, and her face kept transforming, as if it were alive, which was far from angelic.
I made a sketch, and suddenly I saw that the sketch was already on the paper. I just needed to outline the contours and shadows properly. But – what a problem – the sketch kept changing. I created little sketches, but they moved across the paper, and after drawing one thing, I realized that part of what I had drawn before had shifted, and I wasn’t drawing a complete portrait. The large sheet of paper had scattered outlines of a face and different parts of the face, but there was no unified portrait. My angel lost patience, looked at the chaos on the page and the first, messy sketch, and said that she wouldn’t accept my work and marked an X on my drawing.
I begged her to wait, I would try again – and I even started drawing, but nothing worked. Some lines disappeared, others moved across the paper. I said that this was unfair, that the lines were alive, but the angel didn’t want to listen. While I was drawing, another person was taking the exam on foot massage. The angel didn’t like that either and refused the exam. She said there was no talent for foot massage. Then I said that I would give her such a foot massage that she would immediately accept my talent.
The angel, apparently touched by how upset I was that she didn’t accept my drawing talent, took a cosmetic bag out of her purse and handed it to me. I was happy that I would get the chance to fix her bad makeup, but she said, “I want to feel like I’m 5 years old.” I said, well, I can’t make you feel five, but I can make you look thirty, but she insisted she wanted to feel like she was five and meet her father.
So I set up a little “time travel” session, told her to close her eyes and imagine herself as a five-year-old with her father. The room was crowded with some people, so I made them leave, but they still tried to get in and made some noise. In the silence I managed to create, I tried to help the angel imagine herself at five, next to her father. And she succeeded!
Such an interesting dream. I don’t want to interpret the moral, because I might end up thinking that I really don’t have a talent for drawing. 🙂
October 2, 2009
I pulled my skirt on like a sundress since it was clearly falling off. I dropped my black shirt on the stairs, but caught myself just in time and went back for it, though someone else had picked it up and was trying to take it. I reclaimed the shirt and went home with a heavy camera bag on my shoulder. I was walking beautifully, even feeling how beautiful my walk was. Then suddenly, someone appeared behind me. He was a short guy, taller than me, with very dark hair, light skin, and incredibly bright blue eyes, almost violet. He stuck to me like glue. I could feel with every fiber of my being how much he liked me. He fell in love at first sight. He immediately took the heavy bag off my shoulder and started acting completely “unprestigious,” not hiding at all how much he was lost in my company.
We reached my house. It turned out that I lived in a two-room apartment with a large living room and a small bedroom full of clutter, with three not-so-comfortable beds. I was so tired from the day that I decided to take a shower and put on a fluffy white robe. The guy (whose name I never learned) put my camera bag on the floor and stuck to me again. The bathroom was occupied (there were a lot of people in the apartment at the moment, some friends, relatives, maybe both), so I decided to rest on my cot, since I was so tired.
He first sat on my knees, trying to stroke me. I kept waiting for him to kiss me, but he just lay next to me in his clothes, and suddenly he had a cramp, and he experienced the strongest orgasm just from being near me.
Then everything was a blur. It was as if I fell asleep for a moment, and he was holding my hand, gently stroking and intertwining his fingers with mine. Then, I thought it was still evening, but it turned out to be morning, and the light was getting brighter and brighter.
The guy took me outside through the window. It was a beautiful day. We were standing on some platform, and he sat me in some kind of booth, and the booth rose into the air! It was like a cross between a ferris wheel, roller coaster, and air metro. The booth rode along a rail that went up and down, and we passed over the whole city. When it went up, it offered such amazing views! The young summer in a beautiful city, like Moscow. Beautiful buildings surrounded by greenery. The bright sun. It was wonderful! And I just sat there in my fluffy white robe.
Then we went back home. And I had to take Danka with me. I had some strange carrier, from which Danka was trying to escape. Then someone said we should take another kitten. And then the horror movie started. The kitten was tiny, as if just born. He lay in a box and didn’t show signs of life. Some man started slapping the kitten against the box like a fish, of course, it didn’t help. I started yelling for him to stop: half of the kitten’s tail was already torn off, and a piece of skin was hanging from his head. I decided to give the kitten artificial respiration and massage its heart. I took him in my hands and found that, although his eyes were closed and he seemed lifeless, he was purring loudly. I said he was alive and started stroking his belly. He opened his eyes and started showing signs of life. Someone asked what to do. What to do, what to do! – I said, having read Ru Kets – take him to the vet, what else.
The dream ended there.
I also remember fragments where the guy with violet eyes turned into a skinny redhead.
I woke up unexpectedly at 6 AM, smiled thinking of the love I dreamed of from Thursday to Friday, and fell back asleep.
Such are my adventures in dreams!
October 4, 2009
I couldn’t take my eyes off him. And I knew he was looking at me too.
The tension between us was palpable. But he was always on the other side of the classroom. He was the teacher’s assistant, and I had this horrible feeling that he was always judging me. But his eyes were deep, filled with the same energy that pulsed through my veins.
Dream – November 7, 2009
Today I dreamt of a girl. Beautiful, soulful, a wonderful girl. Who loved me. And whom I loved. But there was one issue in our situation. Right now, I can’t quite remember if I was a man or a woman. At first, I was a woman, even sorting through my trinkets. Then suddenly this girl, whose name I don’t remember, started skipping around. I knew we were together, and that I was supposed to propose to her. I rushed to propose and even got down on one knee. She said “Yes” and added that she had been waiting for this moment. And we started living together, but even then, I couldn’t understand if I was a man or a woman. On the one hand, I was supposed to behave like a man, but I still felt like a woman. We even had sex, which would have been a good opportunity to check my gender. But the sex happened on my terms – she was the one who caressed and kissed me, doing everything, and I just lay there enjoying it.
Then something interesting happened. I must have been a man, because after I put a ring on this girl’s finger, after we agreed to live together and get married soon, after a passionate orgasm, I suddenly wanted to backtrack. I started saying that we weren’t technically married yet, to make sure she understood that she shouldn’t confuse desires with reality. I told her, “We’ll marry, of course, but we’re not married just yet.” And then I started thinking that the ring on her finger – the engagement ring – didn’t really mean anything, and I could stretch this out for a while, while remaining unmarried.
Dream – November 27, 2009
Yesterday I flew to Russia and was worried about how Danya was doing without me, but today I went to Germany – and this time I took Danya with me.
I ended up in Germany through some interesting means. With the help of two friends and a funny pyramid – a tetrahedron. We three stood on top and tumbled backward so that, after the tumble, we found ourselves in Germany. And immediately by the sea. The waves were big, and the sea was huge, blue-green, and very beautiful. I walked along the shore. At first, I wanted to run, but running on the sand was uncomfortable. I met some vacationers. I was dressed in warm sportswear and had a backpack. I took off my shoes and socks and walked barefoot on the sand.
At some point, I had to leave the beach and go to a kiosk where I needed to check into a hotel. My hotel wasn’t booked, so they offered me a few choices, and I picked one that cost a little more than 100 dollars (euros?) per day. I had about 500 euros with me. Then, I stood in another line at a souvenir shop, as I absolutely had to buy a souvenir. When my turn came, I got flustered because I didn’t know which one to choose. The thing was, I didn’t care about the souvenir at all, but Borisova’s voice from behind urged me to buy pearls, arguing that they sold some rare pearls and that it was almost like buying a snow globe in America. I asked for a string of pearls, and only when I got the change and receipt, did I realize they cost 109 euros. I was shocked to have bought something I didn’t need for 109 euros, but I thought, “It’s ‘necessary,’ since Tanya said so.”
After that, I had to figure out how to get to the hotel. I had no sense of direction in the city. I tried asking a woman at the kiosk for help, speaking in English, but she didn’t understand me. So I bought a map, hoping I could find the right street with it. But the map was completely confusing, and it seemed impossible to find anything.
Somehow, I ended up on a viewing platform or high floor of a building, where I could see the city’s beach. Small islands cut through the water’s surface. Very neat, geometrically precise segments of land with little strips of water between them. This was in an area about a square kilometer in size, with the rest being an endless beach. Everything was so clear and orderly, very German. I immediately wanted to stay there.
But I still had to check into the hotel. I trudged to the bus, where I met the two people with whom we tumbled. They were also heading to their hotels, and it turned out we were all going to different ones… One of them was going to a hotel near the beach that only cost 40 (or 60?) euros a day, and I decided to go with her since my hotel was far away and cost 190 (!) euros a day. (Everything was getting confused and changing a lot.)
We left, and I kept trying to stuff a bunch of euro bills and coins into my pockets. Then I suddenly remembered, “Where’s Danya?” It turned out that Danya was riding in the same bus, in the teapot. I immediately remembered a childhood film about a cat (or tiger?) in a teapot. The teapot was aluminum, triangular, and expanded toward the bottom. It was lying on its side, and Danya’s poor head stuck out from the opening. It was clear she wasn’t thrilled about traveling in the teapot, but she had no choice. I petted her furry head, kissed her furry face, and tried to comfort her to hold on just a little longer.
We never made it to the hotel. For some reason, it took forever to get there. It was getting dark. In the bus, besides the seats, there were beds where some little kids, about 11 years old, were lying around. There were four of us who needed somewhere to rest. There was a cot, and we all lay down on it. Suddenly, I was standing by the window, it was morning, and the bright sun was shining. I was terribly upset. “How is it already morning?” I said, “It’s like I didn’t even lie down.” Either I hadn’t slept well enough to feel rested, or the morning came immediately after I lay down, but either way, I hadn’t gotten any sleep…
Meanwhile, I found myself in some castle, rearranging furniture, but that quickly faded out of the “German” storyline.
At the end, it was very beautiful. We needed to somehow return from the German trip, and we remembered that we had gotten there (as it turned out!) by pretending to be mermaids. We immediately found ourselves in a pool full of little mermaids. They were tiny, no more than 30 cm long, transparent, shimmering. Just as we were about to tumble around with them in the water, I woke up.
Dream – December 17, 2009
I dreamed I was in a small apartment, and I didn’t feel safe there. Behind the door, a man was banging, a fairly young blonde. Not sure if he was a serial killer or a demon, but he was terribly frightening. He was trying to break in, and the door was thin. I had locked it, but somehow he managed to stick half his body through the gap. His eyes were terrifying, crazy. I screamed, but my scream was silent – just a whisper, and that felt like silence. There was someone else with me in the apartment (later it becomes clear who). I shoved at the man in the doorway, and he disappeared behind the door, and everything seemed quiet. But suddenly, he slipped through the door like it was water. He clearly wanted blood. I called 911 and said (in English), “There is an intruder in my house.” The woman on the other end was strange. “Who?” she asked. “Intruder,” I answered. She went silent, I kept yelling “Hello, hello,” but everything went quiet, and then I heard a dial tone. I tried dialing 911 again, but there was no signal.
Meanwhile, the blonde demon was trying to break through the door again, and then the person who was with me in the apartment – Oleg Kotov – slammed the demon in the face, and he was briefly knocked out. I decided to escape. I ran out onto the balcony, which was strange, with a wooden fence like a palisade with a narrow surface. It wasn’t enough to just climb over the fence (I was on the first floor), I had to walk along the edge from start to finish. I thought the blonde demon wouldn’t notice, but he was already there. I reached the end of the fence, and he was still at the beginning, chasing after me. And the fence was surrounded by some thorny bushes. I walked along the edge, getting caught on the thorns, finding it difficult to move.
Finally, I jumped off the edge of the fence and tried to escape, but there were houses all around me, tightly packed. I wanted to squeeze between two houses, wearing a fleece bathrobe, but the walls of the houses felt like Velcro. I got stuck, the bathrobe clinging to the Velcro, and I couldn’t get out. The blonde demon was catching up! I screamed with all my might, and it seemed like the Velcro released me. People nearby helped me, letting me into a house to hide, and just as I got inside, the dream ended.
I woke up at 3:30 AM. Terrified – it felt like terrifying creatures were jumping at me from every corner, wanting to kill me. And – it’s surprising – in real life, the cats saved me. Kotka was lying next to me. I petted her, and it immediately felt better. She sensed that I wasn’t asleep, crawled onto me, stretched out like a sausage, and stayed there purring for a long time until I fell asleep. With her, it was much calmer.
That’s how the cats saved me. One in the dream, the other afterward. It became a kind of relay of my rescue by the cats.