You must keep yourself in check, keep yourself in check… you must fight. Not give up. I know this.
You must hold on, you cannot relax, you cannot accept pain as a given, you must remove it, erase it, you must find new reserves of strength within yourself, you must find a new source of optimism, positivity. You must move forward and not think about anything. And constantly tell yourself through clenched teeth, “Everything will be fine, everything will be fine,” or “I’m doing fine, and it will get even better, fine and it will get even better.”
Don’t cry. Don’t let yourself cry. Don’t allow yourself to believe that you’re unsuccessful in this or that, don’t allow yourself to paint grim pictures of the future. Don’t allow yourself to not believe that things will turn out the way you want, the way you dream. Don’t allow yourself to pity yourself. Don’t allow it. Move forward, go through the storm. Go, no matter what.
Find new strength within yourself. Find it. You must.
Otherwise, with each time, you’ll be closer to the noose, and one day, you’ll find yourself already beyond the threshold of these doors… But it will be too late. All the happiness you didn’t wait for will flash before your eyes in a minute, just with a gust of excitement that you could have experienced if only you had been strong.
We all have moments of weakness, when we want to fall to the floor, roll around, kick our legs, cry, and scream, “Damn! Why! I want to love so much! I love life so much! I want to be happy and bring happiness!” But you must, YOU MUST BE STRONG!!! Only the strong win!
I want to truly learn how to love myself. Forget about everything. Forget all the patterns, all the clichés of the “standard happy life,” live my life – an unconventional happy life, break out of these frames, fly, and Love.