Right now, of course, the universe has started accelerating dramatically: materialization happens, if not instantly, then with very little delay. And the formation of the future through current emotions has also sped up, though not as significantly. Previously, it would take me 3-4 weeks to stop experiencing the residual effects of a crisis; now, it takes one or two weeks.
How does it work?
Imagine everything is fine, and I’m generally happy. Then something happens (a jolt) – most often, it’s the influence of other people’s will – mostly envious people, who can’t stand that someone like me could be happy, and they feel the need to pull me down to their miserable—or not fully happy—state. I’m a very giving person, I love to give everything—gifts, time, my energy, money—which, in essence, is all the same. It feels good to me because what is given makes space for so much new to come in. That’s why I’m always giving, and I don’t mind.
The problem is, when I give voluntarily (if I have enough), the recovery happens naturally. But if I give when I have little to begin with, or if my energy is drained by someone attacking me with things like “she has no right to be happy” or “who does she think she is,” I don’t know how to recover quickly. And if I don’t replenish my energy in time, I start losing more and more, and gradually, I fall deeper and deeper into an energetic hole. For recovery, I need to talk to someone who will just listen without judgment and comfort me – just let me cry it out. I don’t need anyone to teach me what to do or explain how I ended up in this situation and how to avoid it. I’ll heal on my own, and soon enough, I’ll set my inner sun to shine again.
I digress a bit here.
Anyway, when I’m in the downward spiral, my awareness either completely or partially switches off, and I start thinking these grand, negative thoughts, like “everything is bad,” “I’m ugly,” “I’m useless,” and “no one will ever love me.” When I have enough energy, these thoughts seem laughable. But when my energy is low, they reflect my reality at that specific moment.
In the end, I either find some energy to patch myself up and rise a little, after which I start climbing back up and soon I’m glowing in the sunlight again. (Another scenario – I fall to the very bottom, die a little, wander dead for a while, then gradually start being reborn – but that’s a rare scenario, and every time I fear I might die that way forever. It’s happened about three times in my life.)
Unfortunately, for a week or two after I’ve managed to steer myself back up, I still feel the effects of the “decisions” I made while I was falling. That is, life reflects this as a sense of sadness when, seemingly, everything is fine. Or things start breaking, troubles begin to arise… But I now have enough awareness to understand that troubles are just echoes of my own negative thoughts about reality, and that sadness is without cause, even though under its influence, I want to fall again.
So, after the crisis has passed, for a couple of weeks (previously 3-4), I still experience its “residual” effects. Right now, it’s the first week. It’s still a bit hard, but I already know that soon things will be good again, and I’m gradually gathering energy!