Once, I came up with a formula: any interpersonal conflict could be resolved simply by allowing myself to love the person I was in conflict with. To allow pure, universal love – and the conflict would disappear because, as a rule, for a conflict to continue, it needs fuel from both sides.
It worked, but not always, and not for long. I couldn’t understand why.
At that time, I didn’t know about another resolution… Living in a system of concepts divided into “good” and “bad” means dividing the world into two large piles. It’s not hard to love what is in the “good” pile. But how to love the other? By overcoming yourself, by pushing through? Constantly fighting? YES! That’s why my formula failed time and again when I realized that the object was simply in the wrong pile. And it’s so easy to fall into the “bad” pile!
Oh God! How relieving it was to realize that “bad” and “good” are not absolute! Not objective!!!! They are 100% subjective! This meant that I had consciously built the most complicated maze for myself out of low shrubs and was wandering through it in the dark. How simple life became when I realized that others are not bad, but simply different! They see “bad,” “good,” development, growth, love, pain, sex, responsibility differently. Undoubtedly, there is some correlation in how different people perceive various issues, but still, EVERYTHING is individual, EVERYTHING is subjective!
But the most important realization came later. Suddenly, by allowing others to be different, I realized that for the first time in my life, I had allowed myself to be myself!