Even the most beloved person is just a part of my vast, boundless world. To say that they are the entire world is to greatly narrow this limitless world to just one person, no matter how beloved they are. Firstly, this is a conscious global limitation of oneself, taking away from oneself all the possible riches the world can offer us. Moreover, this creates incredible pressure on the beloved person, who now must fulfill all the functions of the boundless world. Most often, they are unable to cope with this task, neither morally, nor physically, nor spiritually. The pressure is too much to endure.
Somehow, adulthood comes swiftly. Not aging, but entering the phase of maturity. It seems as though I have been prepared for a long time to suddenly, in just a few months, become an adult.
What does it mean to become an adult?
Wilhelm Stekel once said that the sign of immaturity is the desire to nobly die for a righteous cause, and the sign of maturity is the desire to humbly live for a righteous cause. So, it seems to me that I am on the first step toward readiness to “live humbly”—to simply live, to live this life, my life. It may not be like someone else’s – that person lives their own life. Mine is unlike any other. “Life is as it is and no other way.”
Of course, much in my life is not the way I think it should be. But who knows what should actually be? Maybe this is exactly how it should be. At least, my past life experience shows me that everything that has happened on my life path was right. If it had been different, I wouldn’t be who I am now. And I regret nothing.
I believe that the future will be just as it should be for me—right, just as it is meant to be. Everything I need, I will get, one way or another. And if I don’t, then I didn’t need it, it wasn’t meant for me. I am simply ready to accept what life gives me, without regret and without complaint. I am ready to humbly live my life.
Aging is something any animal can do. Maturity is the prerogative of human beings. Only a few lay claim to it. Be born anew, become innocent. It is in your hands. Cleanse your mind from everything you haven’t known, from everything borrowed, from everything that comes from traditions and conventions. The second principle: pilgrimage. Life must be a search—not a desire, but a search. Not an ambition to become something or someone, but a search, an attempt to find “Who am I?”
The external is not important. Someone is young, someone is black, someone is a woman – that doesn’t matter, what matters is what is inside – an ocean of silence. Life should be a constant celebration, a festival of lights that lasts the whole year. Only then can you grow and blossom. Don’t make things small and big, trivial and important. Everything is important. In existence, everything is equal. Start with meditation and everything will begin to grow within you—silence, serenity, bliss, sensitivity. And whatever comes in meditation, try to bring it into your life. Share it, because everything you share grows faster.
Life is very simple, it is just a joyful dance. And the whole earth can be full of joy and dance, but there are people who have invested everything in making sure that no one enjoys life, that no one smiles, that no one laughs. Every Adam and every Eve is destined for expulsion from the Garden of Eden. They must get lost. This is the only way to regain true childhood: first, you must lose it. If you bring the quality of awareness into the experience, that same experience becomes maturity. If you’ve learned that anger is poisonous, it’s finished! This path is closed, this door no longer exists for you. This situation will repeat tomorrow, but you will not be obsessed with it.
Maturity has nothing to do with life experience. It has something to do with the inner journey, with the experience within. The deeper a person moves inside themselves, the more mature they become. You must give yourself. If you don’t give, it is impossible to renew, to give yourself endlessly – so that nothing remains, always being open for renewal. Go all the way in sex, to any level that is natural for you. If I am alone, then I will still be as loving as I was with you. It’s not you who creates my love. If you created my love, then, naturally, when you were gone, my love would disappear too. You don’t extract love from me, I pour it onto you – this is love as a gift, love as being. The main problem with love is to first become mature. Then you will find a mature partner, and immature people will no longer attract you.
A mature person does not fall in love, they rise in love. The word “falling” is incorrect. Only immature people fall. They stumble and fall into love. When a mature person gives love, they feel gratitude for the fact that you accepted it, not the other way around. They do not expect you to be grateful. When two mature people love each other, one of the greatest paradoxes of life occurs, one of the most beautiful phenomena – they are together, but at the same time, they are immensely alone. They are so together that they are almost one, but their unity does not destroy individuality – in fact, it enhances it. They become more individual. Love is not destroyed by marriage; love is destroyed by people who do not know how to love. Nothing can destroy love.
If it exists, it continues to grow. Never mistake anything else for love. … In the presence of another, suddenly you feel happy. Just because you are together, you feel ecstasy. The very presence of the other satisfies something deep within your heart… something begins to sing in your heart. The very presence of the other helps you to be more collected, you become more individual, more centered, more balanced. Then this is love. Love is not passion, not emotion. Love is a very deep understanding that someone completes you. Someone makes you a closed circle.
The presence of another enhances your presence. Love gives you the freedom to be yourself. There is no better space to jump into meditation than orgasm. Any borrowed truth is a lie. Until you have experienced it yourself, it is never truth. The most essential thing is to understand the orgasmic moment: without thoughts, without time, without mind, just pure awareness. Love is a spiritual mirror. If you can risk your whole life in love, great will be your achievement. In “nothing,” all birds, flowers, trees, and the beautiful morning – they will all be inside you. There is no “outside.” Go inside. It will be difficult to escape from the crowd of your thoughts, but you are not your thoughts.
Experience is not about acquiring (false) knowledge of the structure of the world. Experience is a feeling lived to the fullest, a life drunk to the bottom. In the vertical line, gradually, you feel that desires disappear, sexuality disappears, ambitions disappear, the will to power disappears. And as your individuality becomes clear and radiant, all of humanity becomes one in your eyes – you cannot discriminate. Do only what you enjoy. If you don’t enjoy it, don’t do it. Pleasure only comes from the center. The more you fear death, the more you fear life. Every fiber of your being must love to dance in any situation.
The underwater current of joy must continue. Meditation is a mind turning to its source. Seek the inner sky. And if you have found it, then you will never die. The body will die, the mind will die, but you will never die. And to know this is to know life. Only those who are brave enough to be called fools can live, love, know, and be. The more you try to explain, the more closed you become. Let reason work in its field of causality, but always remember that there are deeper spheres. The wise person is the one who creates harmony between the head, heart, and body. A person can only be called rational if they use their intellect to transcend its limits.