Reality slowly begins to nudge us, that is, to prove that what surrounds us is just a reflection of what is inside us.
So, conscious and thoughtful people, of course, have already thought about this understanding, but still even they (us) have no direct evidence that it works exactly like this. Only circumstances, which “realists” readily call “coincidences.” Meanwhile, psychologists are well aware that as soon as you start to cleanse your inner self (consciousness, understanding, beliefs, etc.), the reality of life begins to change, and sometimes quite dramatically (substantially, in other words). And no, it’s not a coincidence.
I’m experiencing all of this very intensively in my own life right now. However, the topic is so interesting and the “material” of the research is so elusive that even when parallels between internal and external changes are very clear, it’s not very easy to draw a direct parallel between the specific internal transformations that are causing certain external changes.
For example, over the past year, if not significantly changed the composition of friends, then, at least, it has undergone significant transformation. Some people have completely dropped off, people I never thought would leave my life so suddenly, and it turned out, as in this article: “At the first attempts to assert your needs and establish personal boundaries … some of the closest people will go into a rage: ‘Look at you, so smart now!’ Well, in my case, for example, there is simply no understanding that I am also worth something, that I have a sense of self-worth, and that I exist here not only to serve them and entertain them. And this is about friends, not men, for example.
Two very close people left my life. Other relationships have undergone some transformations and the establishment of various boundaries and agreements, and as a result, they have become stronger, while others have weakened. Some relationships have also developed, which were pleasant acquaintanceships but began to show signs of good potential for being very close and strong friendships. In general, it turns out that I’ve reconsidered relationships with almost everyone I interact with.
I’ve developed an understanding of a more flexible system of friendship circles, which has become more defined. Before it was either “all or nothing”: either a friend for life to the point of brotherhood, or no one. Now, I’m starting to cultivate a new system within myself: there are close people with a greater degree of trust, there are people who are further away but still pleasant to interact with, there are friends who are nice, but with whom there is no special closeness. This is a rough categorization, of course, everything is individual, in each specific case, the approach depends on the person’s personality, and the relationship with them is unique and not subject to the system.
At the same time, despite the fact that I clearly see that over the past year I have gone through a lot of profound changes: some initiated by myself, some imposed on me by life situations. But the fact remains: I was shaken up a lot (sometimes forcibly) over the past year, and as a result, many changes have occurred in life conditions. But what exactly my internal changes led to, for example, such dramatic shifts in my circle of friends, – I don’t know. Honestly, I didn’t even consciously work much, let’s say, on self-esteem. But, in fact, it turns out that I did work on it, because I’m no longer willing to tolerate some antics of those people whom I was a very caring friend to and whom I considered my friends.
Besides this, there are many other changes, both internal and external, but the essence is that my internal state is like a color filter: whatever color it turns, it will color everything around me. In connection with this, I’m thinking.
But is all this around me really? Perhaps what I think is around me is actually inside me?
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