Posts in Thoughts

Ultimately, at least for now, this remains a universal method to climb out of a gloomy, depressive state into a loving one. I won’t describe every detail — I highly recommend reading The Messenger book.

For example, with this one: "With the most successful assimilation, you will never fully self-realize in a foreign country as a top-class specialist." This is pure nonsense. Becoming a top-class specialist in America is actually much easier than in Russia, where a lot is bought and pre-arranged in advance.

It’s simple. When we know there's no need to return, we shouldn't. Under no circumstances. It's forbidden. Because we know that even if we just talk, even if it's just a text message, we’ll again fall into the illusion that this person can give us something they cannot.

I had always understood that I was stuck in adolescence, but my "blind spot" didn’t allow me to understand where, when, why, or what exactly was wrong. And then it happened—I understood. And immediately, everything fell into place. Right now, I feel as though I am trying to make up for all the years I didn’t live as an adult.

For some reason, what bothers me the most is how others perceive me. I really want my actions, the reasons for my actions and words, to be understood.

My state has reached a new, interesting level. Several hours in a semi-sleep state, I observed the mistakes I’ve made in life flashing before my eyes. Not intentionally. Just because that’s who I am – clumsy, crooked, with a psyche warped by childhood traumas…

I became curious if I could still watch You've Got Mail. It turns out, despite the charming Keanu Reeves, the movie, which was once among my favorites and proudly sat on the shelf in my DVD collection, now evokes a nauseating feeling, like after greedily devouring a large greasy butter cake

The topic of love is especially relevant to me right now. When I received her letter, suddenly a response pierced my mind that brought tears to my eyes.

My friend recently asked me: "What if no one will ever love me…" The topic of love is particularly relevant to me right now. When I received her letter, I was suddenly struck by the answer to it, tears welled up in my eyes.