Posts in Thoughts

There comes a moment in a person’s life when they stop for a while, look at their existence, and feel that something is missing. You have a degree or two, a great job with a manageable amount of work and free time.

Since I believe that the past, present, and future are not some continuation over time, but rather concrete components of the present moment, I began, like a cat with its tongue, to pass through my entire life with thick strokes, straight from childhood, illuminating, like an X-ray, with sunlight all the moments of family and closeness that I experienced, all the signs of lack of love and disconnection in my family.

I want to release everything from my soul. All the weight. Tell it. To someone who […]

I am a unique specimen. Well, wait, I’ve heard this somewhere before. I’ve said it. Thought it. With pomp. Eyes closed. Brows raised in a Pierrot style. Suddenly, it seemed to me by chance that everything is not turning out the way it should for me to be happy.

Once upon a time, when we met after hours of separation, we couldn’t help but hug each other. It felt so good to embrace, to feel like ourselves again, you being you, me being me, us being us...

If Mark Foster were a bit more exalted about his uniqueness, he could very well have turned into a decent David Lynch. But Mark doesn’t take the easy road. How many times can you bleed out before it turns out that you’re finally dying on the Brooklyn Bridge due to some burst tire?

Don’t believe anyone who tells you that New York is a blend of glass and metal, a cold city pierced by towering skyscrapers, with incessant advertising on the streets and the biting winds of winter evenings, piles of garbage on the roads, and crowds of dubious characters…

The soul is born for song and lightness. This world is full of Love. And I want to whirl in it, as in a dance. But sometimes—who knows what—little hooks grab me and hold on. And I get stuck in the perplexity of the heart. Am I to blame? Did I do something wrong? Am I scared? Did I consider myself unworthy?

Last night before bed, I looked inside myself to understand the confusion and doubt that had spread there. I asked myself, "What do I want?" And I received an answer. Then I said to myself, "Since I want this, it should already be this way. So why isn’t it?"

I sculpt dolls, clowns, dogs from clay. If the doll turns out badly, I’ll call her ‘silly.’ If the clown turns out badly, I’ll call him ‘fool.