Posts in Thoughts

What does it mean to be a victim for me? It doesn’t mean "getting a thrill from suffering, easily accepting it as reality." It simply means "allowing myself to remain under the power of 'fate' and 'circumstances,' which are exactly what (or who) leads me down the road of life instead of me taking control."

Being a passionу one, I indeed don't just wish for seductive occurrences in my life, I passionately desire them, permeating these desires with energy and love, joy and hope.

Have you ever noticed those energy vampires around you? They can be beautiful, intelligent, interesting, and charming. In fact, they usually are. Because if they weren't, we wouldn't get caught in their enchanting webs. How we get caught isn't the point: it's easier to capture an unprepared person than to keep them.

We spend our whole lives trying to arrive at certain understandings and realizations, through our minds. Before we truly feel these things with our entire being, we need to go through something... to hit our heads with something heavy... Suddenly, today I realized that we all play this Matrix game way too seriously. We’ve gotten so absorbed in life, that we’ve started to live it as a game... I take myself too seriously, I’ve become attached to this mask. Why?

When I feel bad, I listen closely to myself and to my world, asking myself, "What am I doing wrong?" And the answer always comes. It arrives instantly.

Once I've come up with a formula to solve any conflict situations. I just had to start feeling love about the person I was having a conflict with. So easy! And it actually was for me when I was in my early twenties - that's when I came up with this formula. Allowing myself to accept and understand the person I am having a fight with - and conflict is gone, it somehow dissolved. A lot of times conflicts just don't exist outside of our heads.

Consciousness expands once, consciousness expands twice, consciousness expands three times. It’s expanded. Like pupils. Like the territory of life. Like the angle of vision. Like the angle of the room. Quietly, I leap out of the corner; the screen fades. 420… onwards with the text…

I'm not a woman. I'm a wind that wants to escape the limits of rituals, politeness, and "have to's".

I've come close. I can feel it. What I've been searching for so long, I think I've almost found. Subconscious substitutions of true beliefs with false ones I want to love. But I'm afraid. Because love brings pain. In the end, I stop wanting to love. I want to love with my heart, but I don't want to with my head.

The game is called “Cat and... Cat.” It’s very old. The main rule is not to let the cat turn into a mouse. Clever, practicing cats train their intelligence on each other. Foolish, selfish cats simply eat the cats who were careless enough to turn into a mouse. Or they themselves turn into mice if the opponent is not stupid. If two cats are foolish, they both turn into mice and live happily ever after until the end of their lives.